Very preliminary in picking up chicks, but also very important, especially if you’re not in a specifically queer environment. And confidence, not to be confused with cockiness or flashiness, is attractive. You’re good at something, I promise, so talk about that a little.Gay eye contact allows you to circumvent all that hassle of accidentally hitting on straight girls. And even if you’re not good at anything, know–not think–that you’re cute and charming enough to pull it off.This will not, in fact, score you an invitation into anyone’s pants–it probably won’t even score you an invitation into a conversation.In spite of the fact that I’m writing this how-to guide on picking up ladies, I want to emphasize the importance of the fact that all girls are different! Whoever you’re pursuing should be your only romantic focus at that very moment; flirting with someone you’re not interested in just because you can do it is usually boring and pretty unsatisfying.Your friends know you more than you give them credit for, and they’re always (usually? I never called this one girl back because she had a really boring name, and I thought that if things worked out, it would look dumb to have her listed on my Facebook profile.This is where my priorities lie, apparently, and this is probably why I work on the Internet.
No one likes being sloppily hit on, and you’re not making a good first impression by spilling your beer and slurring your words.This is very convenient because awkward lesbians are a plentiful species. “Hey, you have really nice armpits” (this has actually happened to me) is not. This doesn’t mean yawn and put your arm around or sticking hands inside of pockets and keeping them warm while I’m still here. Fo reals though, there are just certain things that lesbians love to talk about.Did you just fall over yourself after trying to chase a dropped cigarette into the street? This means putting your hand on her arm when you laugh or putting your arm around her shoulders (no fake yawning allowed). Between talking, laughing, loving, breathing, fighting, etc etc, we’re up to a lot. There are only so many times you can pretend you were in the bathroom or didn’t hear the phone ringing or were busy mackin’ on another girl before you finally have to pick up and say you’re not interested.Handing out a business card with a silhouette of a sexy lady probably hasn’t been a problem for most of you, but what I’m trying to say is keep it fun.You may have a mullet, but that doesn’t mean you have to act like one–this means business isn’t always in the front.Let’s admit it: being a little inebriated is temping when you’re trying to fight off that girl-on-girl nervousness.