Moving from friendship to dating

I’m not surprised to see services like Poole’s popping up.If you thought your dating anxiety would be gone once you got married, just wait until you end up looking for friends.It’s easy to convince ourselves it isn’t worth the effort to put ourselves out there."We can get stuck in a rut of maintaining old or long-distance friendships digitally, but at the end of the day you need friends to see in person," said Olivia Poole, an entrepreneur in San Francisco.Husbands and wives may allow their partners to fill the role of best friend, letting other relationships fall by the wayside (something I’ve tried to actively resist).

The lull that hits around our 30s stands in stark contrast to all the friend-making we do in our 20s — in part, because of it.(I can’t tell if this is endearing or annoying; I do it instinctually.) My close friends and I text and Face Time nearly every week, and I dedicate most of my vacation days to trips from Georgia to Maryland, Virginia, and Texas to see them a couple of times a year.Now that I’m at the edge of 30, I’m entering uncharted territory and feel like I need life advice, affirmation, and direction more than ever.This psychological phenomenon edges them to a place of significance in our minds and solidifies their position as best friends."We tend to remember things that were first, so we remember the people we were with at that time," said Margarita Azmitia, psychology professor at the University of California Santa Cruz. I’m obsessed with the friends I’ve made over the years, and whenever I’m around new people I’ll show them pictures of my BFF’s toddler or tell them a story about my sorority sister’s new job.Last December, the only local friend I had ended up moving a few states over.


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