A wife can’t do her part (trust him again) until he has done his part (become trustworthy).Men don’t always like that first responsibility, but it is true.” That kind of attack is outright spiritual abuse, and it comes out of the same weak character root that sent you into sexual sin in the first place. You must give your wife every right to play a role in defining what “trustworthiness” means to her in your marriage, and she must be able to count on you to come through for her on these issues.For instance, if you don’t like to read, but she needs you to read as a sign of commitment from you, you need to read it or listen to the audio version of the book.If you’re to rebuild marital trust in the wake of a husband’s betrayal, there can be no dancing around the issue. When a husband demolishes his wife’s trust, there cannot be complete restoration until that trust returns, because trust is the basis of all relationships.
You need to be willing to give her as much as she needs. Your wife deserves all the patience she needs, too. Make no mistake, the damage is real, and healing takes time.When I looked in his bag I found a stripper video that was signed by the woman on the front cover, and it was addressed to him.Recently, when we talked about his e-mailing and talking to another woman, he said it started last December.He always manages to upset friends, family and you when he’s tipsy ...and you hate the way he never seems to know when to stop when there’s alcohol around. If you’ve found yourself asking questions like this — and perhaps taken refuge in these same evasive, self-deceiving replies — you’re not alone.No matter how desperately you want it, you can’t manufacture trust on your own.