As a Dating and Relationship Coach for Women over 40, I’ve seen (and done) it all when it comes to online dating.I’ve seen how rewriting a profile, making it more positive, more aspirational, and less demanding can help the right guys find their way to your inbox. My husband and I met and married when I was 47 and I’m now spending the happiest years of my life. Bobbi invites you to join her Grownup Girls’ Night Out!Such as, “A great evening for me is trying out the newest ethnic food restaurant with a few good friends and disagreeing about the controversial exhibit at the art museum.” Or, “Sunday mornings you’ll find me at the SPCA walking dogs and then off to my favorite breakfast joint for their fresh brewed coffee and chile relleno.
"Once the boyfriend is introduced there is no going back, and expectations are raised," she adds.
Does your profile sound like someone who likes to have a good time? “I’ve tried online dating before and it didn’t work, but I’m trying it again.” Or “I’ve had a lot of challenges and hardships over the last 20 years and now I’m ready for a change.” Or “I’ve devoted my life to my children and caring for my elderly parents…now it’s my turn.” Again, this all may be true, but it’s important to let your prospective match know that spending time with you will be enjoyable…otherwise why would they want to contact you?
When was the last time you read a man’s profile and thought “Wow, he sounds like he really needs me to cheer him up…I definitely want to meet him!
I guarantee you’ll see the immediate payoff in the quality of men you attract. Here are some statements I see every day in women’s profiles: “I’ve waited so long for the right relationship and I hope it’s finally my time.” “I’m ready to be his everything.” “I’m looking for a relationship where we are totally devoted to each other.” While some of this may be true for you, it’s not something to put in a profile.
The man reads this as you having incredibly high expectations and reliance on your relationship for your happiness. If you wouldn’t say it on your first date, don’t write it in your profile. Women in their 40s, 50s and beyond are particularly guilty of this.